“Life is what happens to you when you are making other plans” (not a John Lennon quote – but rather Allen Saunders from 1957)
“Reality leaves a lot to the imagination” – John Lennon
As yes – it was a hot, sticky summer day that found Tamers at Kurtis and Janessa’s home at 1562 Fort Nugent Rd in Oak Harbor.
(Ah yes – I remember those hot, sticky summer days. She was hot and I was sticky – or was it the other way around?)
Good thing it wasn’t Ted Nugent Rd – everyone in attendance would be affected with Cat Scratch Fever, then be dispatched by some nutcase rocker and bow hunter…..
But I digress. Kurtis and Janessa were anchors a-weighing to their next port of call – the adventure this time a fair amount darker and more difficult with some significant medical concerns to address.
Yet – as is the norm with Tamers – hard times are made a bit softer with strong support from fellow Tamers. The work at hand was to help Kurtis and Janessa get their rental house emptied out, with stuff going to it appointed landing zones – some to a nearby storage facility, and a few less lifestyle items heading to their next stop in the continuum of time and space with Anthony and Tiffany.
1562 Fort Nugent Rd must have been situated in a wrinkle of the cosmos – since more than 1 Tamer drove past it a time or two (Jerry admitted to 3 times) before honing in on the house totally out in the open along the road. Even with my nav – I stopped short of the driveway and took a few takes to realize the house was – right there on my right.
When I got there – there was already a pile of boxes and some other items warming up in the browned out toaster oven we called the front yard. It was fixing to be a more-than-warmish day (more on that later) with most Tamers stripped down to shorts and short sleeved shirts….
Except Gary Miller and Erica Wilkenson. They somehow must be in total cool, calm, collected control of their innards, looking elegantly unfazed in their long pants, and added shirt over an undershirt. (They both separately assured this reporter they were sweating inside – just like the rest of us were doing on the outside.)
The rest? (Me, Rudi, Alex, Chad, Jerry, Ron, my apologies to Ron’s female friend who I can’t remember her name, Anthony, Tiffany, Dave, and I’m sure there are a few more folks that my mind has slipped past) were lifting, moving, taping, packing and sweating like absolute PIGS! (Which is a funny saying – since I’ve never actually gotten close enough to a hot pig to check on its quotient of perspiration.) To be sure – we were at the least sweating like Tamers!
We started out in orderly fashion – marking boxes with an “S” (for storage) or “A” (for Anthony’s.) The “A” pile was mounting up in the yard – as it was supposed to go into Anthony’s 24 foot race trailer – with one little problem – Anthony and trailer had not yet quite made the scene. So those items got set aside, and other boxes and furniture were getting disassembled and packed and removed from the abode so we could at least fantasize that we were making some progress in emptying out the house.
And actually – we were. First Gary’s Dodge dually got loaded to the gills, and he strapped down his load. Next was my full size Chevy Van – and while holding most everything EXCEPT the kitchen sink – I did manage to cram in the washer and dryer. Rudi’s truck was also loaded up with boxes and a mattress and box spring. Lenny the snake in his tank was kinda consigned to a corner in the ever emptying living room – since there were at least a few Tamers who were okay being wheelers – but not so much snake charmers.
And finally – Anthony with his monstrous tow-Kodiak with exceedingly large trailer tucked in behind. He’d had a mystery loss of coolant on the way over, and had to pull off at least once to refill. Then – watching him pull forwards into the driveway across the street, then backing diagonally across the path of the 2-lane blacktop where Tamers had to flag down cars whizzing by – provided both entertainment and excitement. But the first time – it was not too many attempts – and he had gotten the entire train lined in backwards up the drive.
We decided there weren’t yet really enough things in the “A” pile to start loading in the trailer yet – but woefully – there was an ENTIRE 2 bay plus shop full of stuff you usually see hanging out at the house of the bachelor farmer that just went back to Norway at age 94. Full cardboard boxes. Empty cardboard boxes. Scrap metal. Welding spatter and dust. Welding carts. Jack stands. More jack stands. Even more jack stands than 1 human being should be allowed to have. Camping gear. MRE’s. Leftover items from KOH. Nasty warm beer. Not so nasty still warm beer. Christmas stuff. Memorabilia. Tool boxes. Tool boxes. Tool boxes. More tool boxes. Mufflers. Tires. Transmissions. Transfer cases. Broken crap he might use again someday. (NOT!) About 97% of that stuff was going to storage – and that is what finally got rolling towards Anthony’s trailer.
We had enough hands and bodies (and sweat) rolling – that with a 9:30 AM start – by about noon – we had about every vehicle there loaded up to the gills. Dave’s really now nice looking “For Sale” Suburban. Even Jerry’s TJ was sporting boxes and tools. Chad, doing the math, began to opine that the fully loaded contents of 2 full size pickups (beds 4×8 each), 1 full size van (floor 4×10), 1 full size Suburban floor with seat 4×6 – and a 8’x24’ cargo trailer might possibly overwhelm a 10×20 storage unit. Pretty quickly – Kurtis was on the phone – on the hunt for more space. There was none at the first storage area, but a couple more 10×20’s were nearby elsewhere. While we’d all been outside sweating away, the ladies were additionally working hard (and sweating away – well – except Erica, not exhibiting any visible obvious sweating) packing up the insides of the house. Thankfully – the pizza showed up about then. The shop provided sufficient shade to keep the sweating down to a dull trickle and we gave Kurtis the usual Tamer love – which meant – a lot of jokes and jabs about all the scrap metal, old tires, bent skid plates and all that other stuff we either had been moving or were about to.
I dare say – Kurtis was doing a masterful job of keeping things moving, making decisions and hanging in there. Reminded me a bit of Matt Damon’s character in the recent movie “The Martian” where near the end he tells a class that the key to survival is in solving a problem; then solving the next problem; then solving the next problem – and never giving up. Still with the concerns for Janessa’s health challenges and the “joys” of moving (A LOT) – I think I heard Janessa or maybe it was Kurtis say the hardest part of being in the Navy was all the moving. My advice on it, impractical though it may be was, “Insure heavily, light a match – walk away……”
In the heat of the afternoon, and with bellies full of pizza – you could just see the group tilting dangerously close to giving into siesta-time. That shady garage conspired to keep us from our appointed rounds. Fortunately – Chad and Rudi took turns providing leadership, cracking the whip and voicing the next task in the line. Though there was more in the house to come out – with all the vehicles full – we had to go to storage to do the first unload. Otherwise – we’d just be standin’ lookin’ – and not getting anything moved forward. (And we’d be standin’ looking at each other – which would have just been oogie and downright embarrassing and wierd if it went on long enough….)
So – on the road again to the storage yard. The driveway was tight, and Anthony didn’t quite set up correctly with his long Kodiak and even longer trailer. So he went around with a number of the group following him to the backside of the storage lot – to a narrow drive that would have been difficult to back a trailer out of. Rudi and I pulled up the drive in front of the office and parked – waiting for Kurtis to show up. Anthony pulled up a drive from the other side of the office – where he encountered an entry chained off between a telephone pole and a post. The chain was padlocked on the post end – but just hanging on a hook, draped over 2 traffic cones on the pole. Being a bunch of “thinking-outside-the-box” off-roaders – Dave pulled the chain off the hook, moved the cones and let Anthony into the lot. WOW – did THAT get a rise out of the manager who came running out with her little walkie-talkie – I’m sure ready to call in homeland security or something comparable. You’d think she was concerned we were doing a hi-tech diamond heist with her angst at our alternate approach to entry. But – we did have our secret weapon. Our silver tongued devil Chad talked to her in that soothing voice, and smiled and assured her it was the most normal thing in the world – and before long she was smiling a bit – and even without Kurtis – had opened the gate and Chad was walking back into the yard with her.
So in came the parade of vehicles – 2 pickups, a van, a Suburban, a Jeep, a huge Kodiak and an even huge-er trailer. The woman was sure we never get all that stuff in the unit. At first – we were in some agreement with that assessment. Except for one secret weapon. If you stack stuff 10 feet tight up into the ceiling – it’s like setting all those trucks and vans on end on their tails – and all of a sudden – we performed a mover’s miracle. With the guidance of master-packer (take that any way you want to) Chad – lines of boxes and square-ish items (like the washer and dryer) start to wedge in floor to ceiling – and by the time we got to unloading the end of the trailer – we had magically condensed the contents of all that rolling stock into half of the storage unit. It was like we’d had a wood chipper sitting in front of the unit, and like Steve Buscemi in “Fargo” we had blown these belongings into every nook and cranny of 50% of that unit.
Back to the house – where we now were packing the “A” pile – which had been laying in the hot, hot sun. First person to pick up Kurtis’s black gun cabinet – no problem picking it up. At first touch – skin welded to the superheated metal. (As they say – when you fall into the sun – no one hears your screams….) Then the dark green ammo boxes – same thing. Picking these items up, sticking to seared flesh wasn’t such a problem – it was prying the items back off your deep-fried palms without the spatulas already packed away over at the storage unit – was a bit of a challenge.
Dave was seen walking to the Suburban with a long white gown protected in a plastic bag, and I said, “Dave – that’s a great drag outfit! Who knew?!?” We have yet to find out what his favorite song is……
By 4 PM – the shop was empty, the house emptied – even Lenny the snake situated in a vehicle, flattened boxes removed, the carpets vacuumed, the bathroom spic and span and bags of trash packed up.
Kurtis and Janessa – please know that every bit of energy we place at your disposal – is a wish for strength, for care, for desire that you come through this trying time unbent, healed, lifted up. We send from our hearts best wishes in the face of hard times and pray for personal peace, solace and hope.
May it be so.
Thanks for readin’ And lift up our friends in wheelin’
Moose