Tamers Christmas Carols Dec 2005

Here is the text for a few of the Tamers Christmas Carols created by Moose.

Tamer’s Tread Lightly Talking Blues

In days gone by men drove their rigs Through mud and woods, they wheeled like pigs Went everywhere and anywhere without restraint Since there wasn’t anyone to say they cain’t

And the Ladies those days, I’ll be confessin’ Were mostly thought of as window dressing Good to pull winch cable and otherwise look cute Being in the driver’s seat was a point that was moot.

Well – now we’re in century 21, and there are new ways we’ll get things done Sharing the woods with folks who like to hug trees We’ll be wheeling in a fashion called “Tread Lightly.”

Now “Tread Lightly” is a method that which’n Will bring confusion, will bring some bitchin’ How do we do that, and why do we gotta? Not a very good reason just to say that we oughta.

Well brothers and sisters, there’s folk who think Our rigs are bad for trails, they’ll make a stink And try to keep us outta the woods And tell the general public its for the common good.

Never mind their brains have turned to play dough Their couch is their rig, and they’re the potato Though rarely on the trails, through their machinations They say they’re saving nature for future generations.

Well that’s our goal as well, we believe in it too You can’t experience nature by locking it away like a zoo Push back on those who are giving us flak establish our rights to trail access

(Chorus) Timber Tamers 4 by club is the best one in the land Driving hard while wheeling easy is the task we have at hand If we want to keep our place among the rocks and trees When wheeling on the trail – tread lightly if you please

So you’re driving a rig weighing thousands of pounds Packing plenty of power, wheeling in leaps and bounds How to tailor our driving so we can say rightly That we wheel under the banner that reads “Tread Lightly”

Well – when Dan-o rolls, he does it so politely You hardly know, he lays it down so lightly He doesn’t even wake Shelly from her nap Although he has been known to spill Cara’s crayons in her lap.

And Auto-M she’s the woman of the hour She could make a thunderstorm look like a gentle shower Running wheel for wheel with the biggest of dogs While barely disturbing any of the forest logs.

In his monstrous rig, the trails he could kill But because he can doesn’t mean he will Gary TJ proves that he’s no ninny He knows when to use or not use the pedal that’s skinny

And then there’s Roger – For trail impact he has a different contribution It really goes more to noise pollution His chirpy tires could drive one to distraction, I s’pose there’s more egregious ways to abuse your traction

Well, I could go on, but you get the fact That responsible wheeling is where its at If we all want to keep our place in the woods rightly We’ll all have to practice treading lightly

(Chorus) Timber Tamers 4 by club is the best one in the land Driving hard while wheeling easy is the task we have at hand If we want to keep our place among the rocks and trees When wheeling on the trail – tread lightly if you please


Tamer’s Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas And all through the woods Only Tamers were stirring Snow as high as their hoods

Why travel the trail On the Christmas Eve fair? The simplest of reasons – “Because it was there.”

When they left in the morning The plan was to play They’d take easy trails They’d wheel all day.

But as happens (as usual) Things changed in a snap! Now dark – its still a long way From a long winter’s nap.

The group had all broken On this nasty stretch And no one was left The new parts for to fetch.

Air Amigo was first to succumb To slippery snow and ice Stump trapped and tires beadless was not very nice

John was just spinning 2 wheels up in smoke It gave us to know that His lockers were broke.

Mike G jumped some trees His rig took a few hits Then saw his bellhousing Was broken to bits

Scrambler Mike had managed To keep his axles intact But his drag link instead Was just totally wracked.

Crash and Stu lit the heater To keep their tent warm as home But the resultant fireball Took the top half of the dome

Likewise disabled Was the rest of the group Sad to say, Christmas spirits Were beginning to droop.

But then off in the distance There arose such a whine. Tamer’s heard the sound of an engine That was cranking just fine.

A wheeler approached Rock lights piercing the dark – He made it look easy Like he was out on a lark.

His rig was top notch – A red shiny built job That gave us to know That this couldn’t be Bob.

As he closed in he roused us Exhausts spouting flames And he yelled from his seat Calling each of our names

“Ho John, Ho Scrambler Mike, Mike G, Crash and Stu Air Amigo, and Danny, And the rest of you…”

Quick as Gary’s TJ articulates To the top of the ramp This guy dressed in red Rolled into our camp.

He had on red Carhartts His butt crack a crease. And the fur on his ball cap Was covered with grease.

He said not a word But just pulled out his tools Once we saw him working we knew This would be a good Yule.

He plugged in an air line On new valve stem and core Once the beads were reset Keith was feeling less sore

Like magic his actions – So swift and adroit Before Johnny knew it He had 2 new Detroits

You’d think that his rig held Even the kitchen sink When he pulled out for Mike A brand new built up drag link.

His parts stock was amazing His good cheer so rousing Mike G almost flipped out When seeing his new bellhousing

But some things get broke Just way beyond repair Crash and Stu happy damage limited to only singed hair

When the rest of the work was Similarly dispatched He hopped in his rig Got his seatbelt attached

And then hit the starter His RPM’s rose And soon all we saw Were his taillight glows

But we heard him exclaim As he drove out of sight – “Happy Christmas to all – Now – Go Wheeling All Night!